About three or four weeks ago lockdown appeared to have suddenly hit me. For a strong Yorkshire Lass like me, it felt strange. It wasn’t that I was suffering from Covid, it was just that, with the potential of our slowly starting to return to some form of normality, I began to wonder what was normal. Over the last, probably 3 or 4 years I have been, albeit the fact that I am actually retired, working fairly constantly. Because I have been building my writing mentoring business. Dedicating my time to researching, learning, and passing along all I have learnt to those who need assistance.

So why, I asked myself, did I suddenly feel deflated. Unable to find any enthusiasm for the work I so dearly love. I wasn’t sure. But what I did find was that I didn’t want to get up in the morning. And having done, so I didn’t want to start working. My delight at chatting to people was waning. In fact, I was beginning to feel bored and fed up. I couldn’t work out why.

So, to try and help me resolve these issues I chose to take time-out. Step away from the job I liked doing. Limit myself in working hard to produce those blogs, podcasts, and resources and just concentrate on… me. You see, it had dawned on me, that having concentrated so much on developing Mentoring Writers, getting it to the standard I wanted it, and working with some amazing people, what I hadn’t done in about 4 years was write. Yes, I’ve written lots of resource documents, blogs, podcasts, emails, newsletters, etc. But what I hadn’t done, was be an author. And that is what was missing. Writing just for me.

And so that’s what I’ve been doing.

I tidied my desk, put work on hold, and then sat down and looked at all the writing work that was sat on my laptop that I hadn’t yet finished. It proved to be quite extensive. And so I decided to sort it into Most important, should be completed within 18 months, and can be done anytime soon. This meant I now had a goal. Haha and there is me telling people about setting goals, and this is the first time I’ve done it for a while. I smacked my hand for being naughtier and not practicing what I preach.

Now, having been well and truly told off, if only in my mind, I sat down and re-visited my writing, starting with a book I have been meaning to rewrite for over ten or twelve years. The stories are good but I needed to make them better. After all, I have learnt so much since I first wrote the book, that I want to improve the stories. And I have. I also realised that my  knowledge of cover design has increased immensely, to the point that the cover I have now created, is so different from the original that it stands out and looks amazing. Well, my husband thinks so, and I hope the readers will when I launch the book in a few weeks.

So, what has all this thinking and surmising done for me? Well, it’s left me realising that I should be honest to myself about the way I feel. But not just myself. I’m not going to pretend and say everything is hunky-dory when it’s not. But, what’s it’s also done, is made me want to achieve more, write more, while still passing along all I have learnt. And that continues to be my goal with Mentoring Writers.

The point really is, that if I am to have you believe in me then I have to be honest with you on all things. And that includes how I feel, even to the point of perhaps sharing those odd moments when I feel fed-up (although not too often), so you know and understand that you are not alone and that I don’t mind listening to you, tell me, when and if you feel the same way. We writers in the main lose ourselves in an imaginary world that only we understand. That is until it’s down on paper. Then it belongs to our readers. But until then that world can be a lonely, sad, happy, and sometimes scary place to be. And that’s when you need someone like me to bounce things off. Fortunately, I have some good authors and publisher friends to do the same. So thanks guys and gals for all your support. Oh, yes. And I shouldn’t forget my husband, even if he does think I’m a weird person. Doesn’t matter, as he still loves me the way I am. A strong, bolshy, Yorkshire Lass hahaha!

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