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ANN BRADY

Author, Speaker & Mentor

Talkabook  - Click to Learn More

PROOFREADING ISN’T REALLY DEAD!

As a reviewer and editor I have to say that sometimes writers do get the words in their sentences muddled up. However, they are not the only ones. People tend to write signs without giving much thought to what the outcome it. So, thinking that in today's world we all need a good laugh here are a few ‘oops’ which could easily have been avoided:


Did I read that sign right?         

TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.    

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In a Laundromat:     

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

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In a London department store:     

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...   

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In an office:     

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

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In an office:     

AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.   

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Outside a second-hand shop:     

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?     

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Notice in health food shop window:     

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...     

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Spotted in a safari park:    (I hope so.)     

ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.     

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Seen during a conference:     

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.     

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Notice in a farmer's field:     

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.     

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Message on a leaflet:     

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.     

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On a repair shop door:     

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)     

And they say proofreading is a dying art. I wouldn't say that, would you?

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But what about the headlines in newspapers etc!

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Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter     

This one came from the SGV Tribune and the person who spotted it called the Editorial Room to ask who had written it. Believe it or not, it took two or three readings before the editor actually realised that what he was reading was physically impossible!!! They put a correction in the next day.     

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says     

Really? Do'ya think so?     

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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers     

I know we are short on police officers but come on, that's taking things a bit far!     

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over     

What a guy!         

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Miners Refuse to Work after Death     

The good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! Only kidding, honestly.     

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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant         

Perhaps we should introduce that and see if it works better as a deterrent than having a fair trial!

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War Dims Hope for Peace     

Mmm… I can see where it might have that effect!     

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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile     

No kidding?!  

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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures     

Now who would have thought it!     

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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide     

They might be on to something there!     

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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges     

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?  Wow, I want some.                  

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Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge     

Ha ha… He probably IS the battery charge!     

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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft     

That's what he gets for eating all those beans!     

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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks     

Err… Does that mean they taste like chicken?     

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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half     

It’s the Chainsaw Massacre all over again!     

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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors     

Boy, are they tall!     

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And the winner is...     

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead     

Did I read that right?     

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Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity. Copy and send this to someone to whom you want to bring a smile . . . maybe even a chuckle.

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